Confidence Thrives on Honesty
Ever since I have been old enough to understand life is not always butterflies and rainbows, I have been telling myself to fake it til I make it to help cope with my own shortcomings. Yes, it has help me in some ways but I came to realize there is so much more to happiness and success that needs to be done then faking it. We can try to convince ourselves the self-deception we create is useful in the moment. But, weak fundamental beliefs make decision-taking extra difficult and create unwelcomed doubts and confusion in our life. When we cannot be sure of our own motives, it is much harder to have an idea of who we are as a person or how to live in this world. We can only pretend for so long before the truth finds a way to surface. I found myself on a dangerous and unhealthy path of delusion attempting to boost my ego one lie at a time. I learned the hard way that honesty is the best policy. No matter how hard we try to bury the truth, it is there and our subconscious knows it. On some level, we do know the truth. We always do.
Dealing with pain, fear and negativity by lying and sugar-coating the truth is a ticking bomb waiting to go off. Doing so will only create chronic anxiety, hurt performances, and will likely lead to self-destruction in the long-term. If we cannot be honest with ourselves, how can we expect others to be honest with us? I am in no way saying self-honesty is easy. It is difficult because we are inclined to lie. We always want to make ourselves look better: show the best version of who we are and what we do. Truly knowing who we are is a challenge but not one that cannot be overcome. One way of doing so is taking some time to reflect on our values, our goals, our strengths and our weaknesses. Honesty sets people free and we owe it to ourselves to freely pursue our dreams and find true happiness within.
I strongly believe that we can do things to better ourselves including increasing our self-esteem. It is not genetic and it is something we have control over. We do not have to be rely or wait on others to take action. We are the only ones to be able to make the first step.
#1 Stand Tall
Stop slumping in or slouching your shoulders, sit up straight! Standing tall will lead to confident thoughts. Conveniently, keeping a straight spine also decreases back pain. A good posture will keep both your confidence and mood up. Open up your chest and keep your head high at all times!
#2 Think Positive
Thoughts lead to action. Negative thoughts drain your energy and also keep you from being in the present moment. The more you give into negativeness the stronger it becomes. Just one tiny negative thought can turn into a huge ball of ugliness. The same goes for positivity: a small positive thought can be the fire to turn your life around.
Visualization is the action of forming a mental image. It is clearly picturing yourself succeeding so you feel and see the achievement. Do not let the obstacles inhibit you from moving forward or settle for less than you deserve.
Not only does smiling make you more attractive but it is contagious. A smile alone has the power to calm fear, insecurity, and anxiety in yourself and others.
#5 Focus on solutions
Success comes through fixing our mistakes. Being able to acknowledge our own failures and most importantly learning from them helps build a strong character. If you have not read Adapt by Tom Harford, I strongly recommend you to get this inspiring title. In this book, Harford argues the more complex and elusive our problems are, the more effective trial and error becomes.
Problem focused thinking decreases motivation. Instead concentrate on how you can solve a problem asking the following questions:
- How can I solve this task?
- How can I address this problem?
- What would be the first step to solve this problem?
#6 Take care of yourself
Take good care of yourself inside and outside. That includes emotionally and spiritually. Build your spirit up and be your own cheerleader. A win is a win no matter how small it is. Set achievable milestones and get excited every time you reach one. Be proud and pleased with each step you take.
#7 Get comfortable being uncomfortable
Stepping out of the security of our comfort zone allows for personal growth. This feeling of uneasiness is a sign that we are learning and pushing our boundaries. The sense of accomplishment and the satisfaction from stretching out to new experiences will feel incredibly refreshing . A benefit of practicing voluntary discomfort are an increase of gratitude we feel towards things we take for granted. It also teaches us a tolerance and contentment.
#8 Get active
I will never get tired of saying it: Exercise is good for you! Apart from the many, many physical benefits, it also does a mind good. Get your sweat on!
Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.
- Mahatma Gandhi